So in my desire to procrastinate from studying for my test today at 8 am I started thinking about an AIM conversation I had with Larry on how I convinced him to get Gran Turismo 5 (easily going to be one of the greatest racing games ever created as is always the case with PD's newest installments of the series).  So I started reading up on the game a bit and learned that among adding damage, increasing the car limit (from the old 5 opponents to 15), and improving the AI, they're also implementing two modes: one that's easier and one with the most precise physics engine known to man because 90% of their feedback says "the games are too hard I want an easier time when racing" and 10% say "the game isn't hard enough yet! make it more challenging".  I'd like to think I fall in the latter of the two categories but in any case I really like this idea because this is the exact debate Mahmud and I were having one time about how GT isnt designed for casual "racers" because it's literally what it's called a driving SIMULATION that has a very unforgiving and realistic physics system.  To make things even sexier, I learned that Logitech, whom has close associations with PD, is developing a new wheel.  Which is to say they've already made the new wheel and it can be bought here:

http://www.logitech.com/index.cfm/gaming/playstation_3/devices/131&cl=us,en

As you can tell by this delicious picture not only is it a beast of a wheel with 900 degrees of rotation, leather grips for all your comforts, and new metal pedals instead of the plastic ones from the previous model but it comes with a CLUTCH PEDAL and 6-speed sequential shifter.  What? Don't know how to drive stick? What a perfect opportunity to learn!  Granted it won't be the same as a real car (theoretically it won't but w/  logitech and PD who knows, it might just be perfect) but it sure as hell better than ruining your good friends' clutch because you're a true noob.

P.S. yes this racing wheel is an additional 300$ on top of the 400-600$ you spent on a PS3 in addition to the 60$ game in addition to the fact that now that you have this sexy new shifting pad you now have no place to put it comfortably and are now forced to buy one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Playseat-Arcade-Racing-Seat-Black/dp/B0009WAC8E for an additional 270$ or one of these: http://www.bobearlracing.com/ for 350$ (shifting mount addition included)  Total investment: around 1300$ for an experience of a lifetime. 

When I left for school from winter break.  Lai Xi was around 75-80 lbs.  She's huge now.  As soon as I find/recieve some pictures from my mom, I'll upload them for all to see how gargantuan she is now.  Mmmm but she's still a cute puppy even those she's humongous.

hmmm its' been a while.

My family has a new puppy now.  We've had her for about 5 weeks and when we first got her she was ~8 lbs.  Last time I came home (about 3 weeks ago) she was 20 lbs.  I can only imagine how much she weighs now. 

Here's some cute pictures:

Monday, February 6th

My dog Patch was put to sleep.  He was an old dog and he lived a good life, well I'd liek to think so.  My mom said that they said it was probably a slipped disk, which is why his legs couldn't move. 

You try not to let it get to you.  But he was a friend of mine for nearly as long as I can remember.  And existing day in and day out is fine.  But sitting here alone with nothing to do but dwell in my own dark thoughts leads me to an extensive amount of grief.  In less than a year both of my dogs have passed away due to some issue caused by old age. 

I want to say that given the chance I'd go out there and get another dog.  Because they brought me so much joy and happiness.  But at the same time there's so much grief involved, so much pain and anguish.  I can remember all the times when I was horribly down or sad and I just laid down next to him and felt safe and comforted just by his furry presence.  He may not have been the brightest dog but he really was something special. 

I'm gonna miss you so much Patch  And I'm sorry, so very sorry I couldn't be there for you like I was for Kayla.  That I couldn't hold you in your final moments.  I love you so much that right now it just hurts.  You were an amazing dog and I seriously wish I had spent more time with you these past few weekends and breaks.  And I regret it SOOOOOO much not playing with you and hugging you.  Now whene'er I go home it's just gonna be so empty.  It was bad when Kayla passed away, but I was always closer to you. 

... I can't write anymore...

HAKKOTSU NO SHO

(ON THE WHITE ASHES)

In silently contemplating the transient nature of human existence, nothing is more fragile and fleeting in this world than the life of man. Thus we have not heard of human life lasting for a thousand years. Life swiftly passes and who among men can maintain his form for even a hundred years?

Whether I go before them, or others go before me, whether it is today or tomorrow, who is to know? Those who leave before us are as countless as the drops of dew. Though in the morning we may have radiant health, in the evening we may return to white ashes. When the winds of impermanence blow, our eyes are closed forever, and when the last breath leaves us, our face loses its color.

Though loved ones gather and lament, everything is to no avail. The body is then sent into an open field and vanishes from this world with the smoke of cremation, leaving only the white ashes.

There is nothing more real than this truth of life. The fragile nature of human existence underlies boththe young and old, and therefore we must, one and all, turn to the teachings of the Buddha and awaken to the ultimate source of life.

By so understanding the meaning of death, we shall come to fully appreciate the meaning of this life which is unrepeatable and thus to be treasured above all else. By virtue of true compassion, let us realize the irreplacable value of human life, and let us together live with the Nembutsu in our hearts.